ADHD and other letters: How Much Is Enough?

I’ve tried to write this post before. I have one half-written draft in my blog folder, strewn wildly with bullet points, and like many of my blog posts, it turns out to be a many headed hydra. My usual response is to start giving and each hydra head a subheading, and then I realise that’s just not going to do the job.

And what I was circling around, with my attempt at untangling and deconstructing the various elements of the problem, was the feeling.

The feeling stalked me, regardless. It hunted me. It hovered in the background of my awareness, and I couldn’t get away from it, no matter how I tried to wrestle it down by naming it, by taking it apart, by mapping its evolutionary tree, the mutations that changed it, the hybrid forms that met and mingled and made something worse than any of the original hatchlings could have foreseen.

I couldn’t finish the post because it made me too sad.

And I think that maybe that was because I was skirting around the sadness. I was blunt about it, but I wasn’t really engaging with it.

So. Maybe I need to start with the feeling.